Saturday, February 16, 2013

ONE COUSIN WITH A WHALE SHARK?

Though the whale shark adventure was intriguing, what stood out to R-Nasty about L-Nasty's latest post was the claim that R-Nasty had abandoned not only duzcuz, but her beloved, overtly promiscuous cousin L-Nasty.  Whilst reading, all I/R-Nasty/giving up could think about were all the cousinly times we had shared together.  Not even the batch of pfeffernusse/bowel movements I stress ate seemed to be able to fix the emotional destruction I experienced while reading about the hatred L-Nasty expressed towards me in her last post.  I JUST WANT THINGS TO GO BACK TO NORMAL:



And then I logged onto the wonderful virtual world of facebook, and HAD MORE HATE MAIL FROM THIS GIRL I USED TO CALL FAMILY, AND PERHAPS EVEN A SISTER.  IT BROUGHT ME TO THE GROUND, OVERWHELMED WITH LOVING MEMORIES FROM THE PAST.  NOT EVEN F-DILLY AKA VERBOSE LOAF COULD RESCUE ME FROM THESE HEART WRENCHING SOBS THAT HAD BEFALLEN MY BODY.  I had no memory of abandoning the blog, apparent by the many hours I spent collaging photos of both L-Nasty and R-Nasty peeing in the unknown waters and mountains and Inuit teepees of Alaska.


This post sent me over the edge for good.  I wandered the dark alleyways of Chicago for what seemed to be days.  Without my cousin, what did I even have left in this world?  After unconsciously joining the street gang WCK (Windy City Killers), and attempting to graffiti our duzcuz URL on every public bathroom I saw, before an angry maintenance employee named Belinda yanked me out, I could not help reminisce about my cousin, and what she now thought of me.  She wanted me gone.  Never to be a part of this blog, or her life, again:



Undoubtably L-Nasty's plan for me



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